Transferring my old posts to this site has brought home how very much my attitude and outlook on life have changed in the last five years — and not for the better, I fear. My cheerful enthusiasm for filmmaking and casual disregard of what I needed to do to keep my job and my family together has been replaced by an ever-present dread of job loss and fear of interacting with people.
Some of this is good. I’ve re-learned thrift, a concept I’d mastered as an undergraduate, but misplaced somewhere. I’ve learned not to take relationships for granted, and a great deal about how to get along with folks. Nonetheless, much of my life right now is dominated by fear of people and of financial insecurity.
I really need to get to more recovery meetings.